Mass Effect: Honorbound
by The Idiot in a Tree
Summary: The story and adventures of a Mercanary Admiral and his fleet, the Primates, during and after the events of Mass Effect 3. The story of people and heroes not mentioned, for the most part, in the games. The story of a regular guy in the pursuit of an irregular goal: To repel the Reapers.


You never really think about the role gravity plays in your everyday life until you deal with the complete absence of it. I've been in zero-G before, and every time I return to that spatial void state, I'm shocked to find that I can pivot and turn and glide and float and in general break every rule of movement I'm used to. Even here, on a ship high in orbit, artificial gravity works to keep human and other bodies in line with our home environs. But now, the artificial physics is gone. I can move freely, and weightlessly, in the same familiar corridors and hallways I'm used to, and every detail is as it was, just completely unrestricted and completely without weight.

Except the pistol in my hand. Its purpose, although I haven't really accepted it yet, has an immense weight. Almost, too heavy to carry down the ship to the observation lounge. Deep inside me, I can already feel it's warmth, the ejection of superheated plasma through a polarized field, like many shot's I've felt before and in line with the many more I've dealt out myself during my time in existence. I've been shot before by many kinds of weapons. I have many scars to prove it. I always thought that each scar had meaning, and they would all be worth having when it came time to retire from the business. Now, with that retirement a charred dream, the only thing to look forward to is an easy death…

Blurs of crewmen whirled around me as I pushed and drifted my way aft. Each respectfully avoided my glance, and rightfully so. Disaster or not, I'm still the captain of this ship, and admiral of the small fleet of ships bearing my insignia. My personal army of the best armed men in the galaxy who aren't chained by allegiance to a government. My Primates.

I always thought their name was kind of funny. That's what I loved about it, when I first officially named our unit the Primates. Pay homage to our ancestry, as we are nearly exclusively human, as well as give ourselves an almost comical look to our prey, or enemies, before we showed them the might of our fleet. I even had a poor but extremely talented engineer recruited to design our own line of ships to be christened after our unit. The largest being Gorilla-Class gunships, armed to the teeth with dual massive particle accelerators and batteries of anti-matter missile bays, along with being fully manned by expert crews trained in weapons operations as well as ship-to-ship personnel repulsion in case some drastically uninformed fighters attempted to probe the inside of the Ape. My flagship, one of the Orangutan class, while not as well armed, was specifically outfitted with multiple armories and shuttle-launch bays to launch simultaneous assaults across the void of space. The pride and joy of my fleet, however, were the Chimpanzee class carrier ships, each possessing the support capacities to operate 16 remote-operated, if my men desired, or piloted Lemur-class fighters for inter-ship fighting. This battle-group had only 3 Gorillas, 4 Orangutans, and one Chimpanzee, but I also commanded 4 other similar battle-groups, indirectly. The original officers of my first vessel from long ago, besides being my closest friends, were also partners of mine and commanded their fleets elsewhere as they pleased. We never required the full brunt of our forces for a job.

Not that I would notice if they were here with me anyway. I had long since thrown away my personal communications earpiece when I realized the truth of what that space-nut Shepard had been claiming as we returned to Earth. The sight of Earth, the seat of life for not just me but the entire human race, set ablaze and infected with tiny metallic-purple dots was enough of a sight to break me.

Enough for me to realize the time had come to meet my fate. I could prolong the struggle, fight to the end, and still have to face the eventuality of coming to face the Reaper, both literally and figuratively, or end it now, painlessly, and in the comfort of my own ship, surrounded by the best view of the most brilliant stars the universe had to offer my eyes.

My hands are calm, I note, as I pull myself along to the rear lounge. Oddly calm. I'm not even halfway down the length of the ship. The red emergency lights and the klaxons calling all crew to battle stations aren't even registering to my numbing mind. Shouts from the men and from intercoms assessing damage from the glancing Reaper strike, re-calculating positions, summoning up our systems, and dealing with the intruders that had boarded all blasted around me, without affect. It all seems so... pointless. What does a dead man have to worry about, anyway?

I don't think I'd have much time, even if I had thought about fighting. If these Reapers are here, the destroyer of countless civilizations spanning time incomprehensibly long wanted to come to reap here personally, our weapons would likely do little to stop them. The Primates are good, but there's only so much we can do when leaving our quarters is a battle in and of itself.

I wonder though, why they didn't just blow us from orbital distances. Vaguely, I remember something Shepard had said about them before… Well, before It, happened. They used the races they claimed one cycle as shock troops for the next. Well, this is one soldier who won't be taking another tour of duty.

I'm fairly pleased with how well my first lieutenant is handling the situation. Were this other circumstances, I'd give him a pay raise or a bonus for his effective handling of it, especially I never instructed him on what he should do if I ever went AWOL. He said nothing when I got up from my place on the bridge. A moment later the ship met a taste of a sweeping Reaper assault, and he did his best to salute while in zero-G. He watched he unholster my sidearm, and only nodded to me when I proceed off the bridge. He'll fight well against Them. For whatever good it will do. Not that I think it'll do much of anything, but to his credit I don't think he'll end up serving Them when it's all over either. I think all these years of living under my strict No Surrender policy has taught him something. Most of the crew too, won't go quietly. Whether out of a sense of honor-

No, not honor. There is not honor here, amongst space pirates and mercenaries. I'm proud of this group of thugs I've gathered through the years, and I'm sorry to see it all end, but there isn't an iota of honor on this ship. Again, a credit mostly to the time they spent under my example, I think.

Signs on the wall indicate the observation deck is just ahead. The shouting has become louder now, and much more frantic. The shuttle bay is one of the closest bays to the observation room. I don't expect They'll catch me before I'm… done, but it'll be a close one. Just a little further now… The pistol's warm, familiar grip seemed to pull me down, and forward, almost like I'm late for something and being tugged along by a small child. 'Hurry now, you don't want to be late!' It seemed to say.

One more pull and a turn and I can see the door. A short drift and I'm inside. The door slid shut behind me and the red glare disappeared. The only lighting in this room was the glare of the battle on Earth behind the ship. I could see ships of my fleet, the familiar shapes of death and destruction I had grown so fond of, keeping close formation with my ship. Some showed scars from battles long since fought and others wounds that, while not in the least critical, showed that it had been a close call. From what I could see, all ships were accounted for.

So, this is it. I'm here now, finally at my place and time. I never thought-

_Click_. Safety's off.

-it would end like this. I lived a good life, so far. A successful, albeit morally questionable career, a level of professional capability I never truly dreamed of achieving, and a whole appendix of worlds I had visited could be brought to my memory now. I've seen a lot. I've lived a lot. I'm not against it ending now. Better than earlier in my life. My hands began to grip around the trigger and slowly started shifting the muzzle up, to finish it all.

The door slid open.

"Just a minute, captain. A word, if you don't mind. "

A woman, here on my ship? I turned to look. My ears aren't deceived, or if they are my eyes are too. While encased in matte-black, clearly used armor, the definitely female curves topped by a short-cropped red head of hair is very real indeed. As real as the assault rifle grasped firmly in her right hand. But when the universe is ending and the reign of man is over, are there any reasons to deny an audience, if only to share our final moments?

"Sure, take a seat." I was curious as to whom this stunningly attractive woman was, but almost angrily amused that she was on my ship. I don't employ many women. "What do you want?" I indicated absently with the pistoled right hand to the couch on my right.

She took my sweeping gesture to settle roughly onto the couch beside me. She sat forward, her arms dangling inward over her knees, with the rifle's muzzle resting obliquely on the floor. It wisped slightly and smelled distinctly of coolant. So she was the intruder. No other way onto my ships, except with weaponry.

"I want you to stop this nonsense of suicide and come to your senses. Everything you have ever known is going to be destroyed without mercy, or escape, and you hold one of the most powerful merc fleets in the galaxy under your command-"

The klaxons from the hall indicated otherwise, the panicked voices screaming unheard orders and futile commands. I'm not really sure if I am in command, at this point. Sure we aren't in too much trouble from the hit, but a boarding party as well as the abdication of the captain must do something to the state of the crew.

"-and we have a chance of winning this, if you'll for one moment decide that the hope of winning is greater than the odds of defeat."

I shook my head and pointed out the port to the shrinking orb of gray and red.

"Does that look like hope? "

She didn't even look. She kept her eyes on me, and only lowered her face the slightest degree before continuing.

"Don't you care about how this ends, then? Don't you want to die fighting the enemy, rather than alone, and cowardly?"

"I've never been against running away. I know when a fight's not going my way. "

She brought one hand up her chest and fingered a palm-sized divot and burn mark just below her collarbone.

"I've been in plenty where things don't go my way. I just made sure they didn't go the other guy's way either. It isn't about how well it looks. Fighting is what's important. "

I thought about that. I had come here to make this quick. I thought that maybe it'd be easier, if I did it myself, under my conditions. Maybe it'd even not hurt my pride so much, killing myself rather than dying to another. Besides, They can't have me after I leave if I make sure none of me is left behind.

I took a long look out the window. She didn't say anything, while I sat there staring. I look at our lost planet, and our distant, loving star. I looked at the many dark dots that crawled on her, spewing red death. I looked at my ships, and the room around me. I looked at the light streaming in, and shattering on the chromed surfaces around me. There was no hiding from the light cascading into the room. No corner, I noticed, was devoid of the tinted glow. No object, be it table, chair, or control pad, was shielded.

I looked at my hands. One showed clearly my open palm, illuminated against the end war. The other, wrapped tight around what I assumed was my end. It too was lit brilliantly around it's edges as I held it to eclipse the struggle that seemed so far away, and yet so close to me at the same time.

But then, the pistol wasn't trying to hide from the light. Its purpose, evident in its form and nature, was clear. It, and I, could not hide from its fate. This pistol is to kill. I looked back out at the scene before me. I saw the cities of Earth, their purpose now to die, the fleets defending her, their purpose to die painfully. I look at the Reapers. Their purpose to kill it all, erase all of everything. It's a lot to take in. My eyes shifted back to my hands.

The hands I have used for so long, so many things. What is their purpose, and by extension, my purpose? I don't have it so clearly spelled out, like my equipment. I've done many things well, as can be measured by fees charged for peace disturbance, medical bills, and drinks bought, as well as women loved, brothers saved, money acquired, and time lived. How can I define my purpose, as a singular thing? There is no one of those things that I could say I am meant to do. In the entire course of my life-

That's it. The purpose, that unites all of those, and all of me, is to live. How can I do that, when so thoroughly confronted with the end, with death? Not that I can avoid it. Everybody dies eventually. Well, except the Reapers, a small part of me reminded myself.

Actually, do they? Didn't that Shepard kill one? So then, can't they be killed?

"What do you actually think of our odds of survival? " I asked. She must know. One who was so bold as to intrude my ship, killing, it seemed, to do so, must have some answers about all this.

"I think they are better, even if only just, than the odds of you surviving a shot to the head." Her voice chilled suddenly. "But if you are really intent on doing it, I'll be going now. I have a war to fight, and I intend to win, with or without you."

I shivered, mentally. Not because of the apparent apathy she held for me, but for the icy determination with which she spoke. She doesn't, I think, believe she will lose. Perhaps she hasn't taken a look yet out the window. I sighed. She stirred slightly and leaned a little farther forward.

"I really need help though. The Reapers aren't going home because I ask them nicely, and the Primates have some of the leading weapons systems the galaxy has tried to ban. You can make a difference, and a dent in the Reaper Armada. "She leaned back. "If, that is, you choose to. "

I took one last look out before me. That pale sphere off in the distance the ancestral home that raised me, long ago. The streets and alleys that changed a scrawny, lanky boy into a hulking mercenary captain who left the slingshots and childish toys to gain enough raw firepower to extort governments, as I've done a few times. Didn't it deserve my best death, if my life isn't worth enough to redeem her? I've come so far from its loving embrace. All that growth started there, separated by much more than space and time. And now, I have the choice to restore it, even if I'll never feel the green grass or cool water again for myself. I looked down at the gun in my hand. She's never failed me in fulfilling her purpose before. She never will, so long as I take care of her.

And what of me? What of my purpose? I could give it all up now. This brazen amazon before me sure won't stop me. But would ending it here truly further my purpose? Can I live with myself, knowing I took my own life? Obviously not, but the point is…

The point is I couldn't live with myself. I'm not a coward. And more importantly, I've known for a long time, maybe my entire life, my end wasn't going to be pleasant. I lowered my pistol and dropped my hands over my knees like the woman had when she walked in. She turned slightly to me but said nothing.

There's a lot to do, to fully mobilize my forces. We were returning to resupply. But now, we need to gather our forces, find another place to resupply, not to mention probably find other arms manufacturers seeing as our facilities on Earth are at best smoldering piles, at worst occupied smoldering piles topped with the bodies of my suppliers. It's going to be a very long struggle. I took a deep breath.

"One way or another, I die. I suppose it doesn't matter how. You've got the Primates. " She smiled. Under any other circumstances I guess it would be a cute smile. But she just looked tired. Grateful, but tired.

"I guess there is some part of you that isn't just a bandit, swindler, and thief. Honor amongst any of the three is a rare quality.

I laughed. She was very mistaken. "I'm not trying to live right, miss. I'm finding a better way to die. Who are you, anyway?" I was already reaching into the pocket of my one-piece uniform for my earpiece.

She got up to leave. "Fair enough. " She said as she turned to the door. "And my name's Shepard. " The door slid open and she turned to grin at my last comments.

"I always thought you'd be taller… And more… well, male."

I began issuing orders after her laughter disappeared along with her. My voice echoed to me over the ship-wide intercom. "All hands, cease engaging the boarders. Repeat, cease engaging. Allow them to depart to their shuttle and leave the ship. Tend to the wounded, and all hands to battle stations. "

I thought about what I was doing. Not exactly the smartest decision, to kick against the apocalyptic pricks, but I already promised to fight. I thought over and over about how much I'm going to hate this choice. Life has always come easily to me, even the violent parts of it. My Second in Command responded to my commands over comm with minor orders of his own. Oh well. Might as well make the best of the end of the universe. Optimism, right? I've got to keep a positive outlook on this.

I passed grinning crewman on my way back. They slammed their fists together and made jokes about showing the Reapers out the door of this universe the hard way. They saw what I saw. They know what we're in for. But then, so do I, so I suppose they're all just better about accepting fate than I am. Or they've been drinking.

I only nodded to my Second as I took my seat. Connecting dots and commanding transmissions, I began the long process of activating a complex machine that had only the purpose of intense, furious destruction. The other captains would know within the hour where and when we were to consolidate the fleets and begin planning with Ms. Shepard about a counter-attack. She had given me information to contact her by. Contact to the other ships to relay orders finished our business here in the Solar System, and we proceeded to the nearby Mass Relay to leave the system.

I felt a jarring slam of the ship and saw fire blossom from our fleet-mates cruising to our sides. For a split second, I thought we were being pursued. But the look on my second's face and the rear camera showed otherwise. I couldn't help but grin.

The crew of my vessel as well as the others in formation had loosed one farewell volley at our enemies, and though they would do little, the missiles and particle beams stretching into the darkness behind use would at least light up the night sky for those fighting on Earth. The bridge erupted in boisterous, confident, violent cheering. I couldn't help but join in.

"Primates, let's show the Reapers that to rule the jungle, you've got to play with the Apes. "

The Relay disappeared behind us in the blue pinhole of a disappearing Mass Relay.


End file.
